March 28, 2010

• Emotional Dilemmas of a Man (and why they cheat)

  I saw these guys on the back of my Wheaties box:
  

  
  
  They are awesome They are athletic. They are doing things. This is manly (even if they had to be stylized to make them look more manly. Look at Peyton Manning’s head). All men want to do things.

  One feeling every guy feels is attraction. He will feel it more or less around every girl that walks by. Sometimes, if he feels really strong attraction, he will think he is in love. This is false. Soon, he will once again realize that other women in the world are attractive. Sorry women, your guy thinks other women are attractive. This is why relationships built on nothing but attraction can’t last (I think women feel most of these things too, but they feel them in different situations).

  There is another, lesser known feeling, that men feel, and that is usually when they are with a woman they respect, and that cares about them. This is the feeling that makes men settle down. It is a feeling hard to describe, that I call, absolute satisfaction. Here is this feeling expressed perfectly, in a painting of Venus and Mars.
  

  
  Notice the little kids are playing with his manly weapons. He has given up all thought of his manly goals, and is utterly satisfied to do nothing. Very satisfied. Note that a lot of guys have never felt this feeling, and have no clue it exists. It is worse because when they see another guy feeling this way, they just think he is lazy. When my friend got married, I thought he was lazy (of course: he’s sleeping when he could be doing something). When this feeling hits you for the first time, it is the most amazing realization ever.

  Then suddenly, the guy realizes he is not being a man. He has betrayed his childhood heros. At this point, many men will give up, get fat, and pretend it wasn’t important. Others, not knowing how to handle this knowledge, will hit their midlife crisis, or their 7 year itch, and cheat. Then be penitent, confused, and get fat for the rest of their lives.

  Some few will become true men, and will wake up from their sleep, and go do things. Maybe they won’t be basketball players or baseball players, but they will do something they feel is valuable; like excelling at work or volunteering at a homeless shelter. This is really scary to a woman, because suddenly he has broken free. Sometimes she will try to keep him down, but this is a mistake, because if she encourages his greatness and manliness, they will love each other so much more. Carla Bruni sings about this, and she does it right, encouraging her man who travels, and reminding him that while he is out doing his battling, he should still come home. Any true man will come home.
  

  
  In my ideal world, the woman would be out with me not waiting, my partner to explore the world.

  • 2:13 am
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